Use money to go to Hogwarts
The IRS realizes that something is fishy because you have so much
money. They decide to come after you but in self defense you turn
yourself (and Barbara, your fiancee) into a unicorn and go frolic into
the forest.
Unfortunately, one day a dark wizard you hear is named Voldemort comes
into the forest and kills Barbara in order to drink her unicorn blood.
You are sad.
You go to Hogwarts and become the best wizard ever. You learn how to
turn the remainder of your money into magic money, and become the
richest person alive.
