saved by television network corporations
You suddenly find yourself in a state of the art kitchen, where a man
in an apron with a plastic smile tries to show you how to use the
Magical Omelet Maker(tm).
"It's as simple as one, two, three!" he exclaims, as he
flips the omelet using the Magical Omelet Maker(tm). "This
amazing kitchen utensil makes making omelets positively easy! And for
a limited time only, the Magical Omelet Maker(tm) can be yours with
only three easy payments of $189.99!"
His smile is very convincing, and you have always enjoyed the
occasional omelet...
You snap out your daydream as you hand slides almost unthinkingly into
your wallet and finds it empty. Well, empty of money anyway. You
really don't know why you've always kept so many bent paperclips in
there. It's your fault for always having to be
unique.
The TV network that plays Barney's show realizes that his ratings have
drastically fallen and decides to cancel his show. Barney is
instantaneously defeated by one grand swoop of unpopularity. The
network decides to replace Barney with Paid Programming.
