Which civil war?
"Down with King Stephen," I shouted, "Boo Stephen. Bad
King! Want Empress Matilda!"
"This event doesn't inspire much subject matter," criticised
my friend, Meta-Bill.
"We'll soon see about that," I insisted, "Maybe if we
change history we could have a story."
"You're crazy and so is this whole premise," complained
Meta-Bill. "Especially myself, must I make a meta comment with
everything I say?"
"You're on two for two now," I observed.
Just then an old crone crossed our paths. "I'm an old
crone," she said as if having read the exposition herself.
"This displeases me," I made mention, "Now be off with
you."
"But aha," said the old crone, "I am something of a
witch. And I shall give you magic powers."
"Sorry this is a time travel story," explained Meta-Bill.
"Magic is the realm of fantasy, not science fiction. To keep the
science fiction bent we must view any magic scientifically I'm
afraid."
The old crone turned me into a bat. "This displeases me
further," I acknowledged.
"Smoke and mirrors," said the scientific Meta-Bill.
"But aha," repeated the old crone, "You can use your
battiness to fly into King Stephen, leading him to lose the civil war.
What about that?"
"Two problems," I said flapping in the air. "One,
Stephen does lose the civil war, I wouldn't be changing history at
all. And two, how does flying into him cause that to happen
anyway?"
"Hey I'm just a witch, I don't know the future. All right, don't
flap into his face and don't cause him to lose the civil war, that'll
change time."
"I don't think you paid attention to the second point I made. But
anyway you mad old bint, please kindly turn me back into a
human."
"Sorry I don't know that one," said the old crone and she
left.
"I'm almost angry," I admitted.
The civil war in the time of King Stephen during the period of 1135
and 1153, of course!
