Fight Like A Man
"FOR OBAMA!" you roar.
The witch/princess thingie jumps off her carriage as onlookers flee in
every direction. She pulls out a knobbly old branch, gathers her long
skirt and runs toward you.
"CHRIST!!! It's...it's THE STICK! Nuuuuuuuu," wails a man
and flees in another direction.
"Run, from THE STICK!" cries a dirty, peasant woman.
The evil stick-witch approaches you at high speed, her eyes bloody
red, with a pure intent to kill. Mustering all the courage you've got
left, you bellow a loud battle cry.
"FOR THE NIGGAS OF THIS WORLD!"
You unleash a flying spinning kick, Jackie Chan style, knocking all
her minions over. With all the guards down, you fly forward and pummel
the witch right in the face.
"Argh! My foundation's fallen off! Begone, you weasel!" she
shrieks, raising her knobbly branch.
"NO! NOT THAT.. STICK!" shouts a pauper boy as he bursts
into tears.
All of a sudden, disco lights appear and spin all around you. She
poses, then breaks out into a John Travolta dance, entrancing you.
What do you do?
With quick reflexes, you whip around and twist the guardsman's arm
with a solid turn. The man yells out in pain, clutching his oddly
crooked arm.
