do a backflip
A crowd begins to gather, and they are impressed by your backflipping
prowess. Mostly, they're kids, because kids are really easy to
impress. Don't feel too good about yourself yet, keep doing those
backflips.
Eventually, older people will be impressed by your stamina, and they
will begin to gather around you as well. Now you can start to feel
proud of yourself.
"My grandma used to do backflips all the time," says a
little kid. He looks annoying, and he's raining on your parade.
Besides, there's no way his grandma could do backflips. She was
paralyzed from the neck down when she tried to do a backflip for the
first time and snapped her spinal cord, you saw the pictures. Put that
kid in his place.
"You're lying," you tell the kid.
He starts crying. Oh great, now you've made a little kid cry. People
don't like people who make little kids cry. Your fans all hate you
now. You know the little kid isn't really upset, he just wants
attention. Why are there always people who want attention? What
selfish people! You deserve all the attention! What are they thinking,
wanting attention for themselves?
You do a backflip. Well, why not? Backflips are cool, and not
everybody can just do them whenever they feel like it, but YOU can.
Show off. Do lots of backflips. Don't stop now.
